As I sink under the water, the world disappears from my vision. Liquid overwhelms every one of my five senses. My world has become so much smaller. Now my field of vision is scarcely 10-15 feet. I drift downward, knowing nothing of what the depths have in store for me. Slowly, the sea floor emerges. At first, it seems chaotic, without pattern or reason. Steadily, however, minute systems begin to take shape. Sea anemones lie in wait for their prey. Scuttlefish scurry across the sandy surface. Crabs crawl carelessly over the fields of kelp. Eels guard themselves under deep cover of holes in the rock. To the discerning eye, life is not only present but abundant.
I have been blessed with many experiences that embody what people imagine diving to be. These experiences have been filled with beautiful fish, warm waters, and clear visibility. This is my first dive into the colder waters. My previous dives brought me many joyful experiences, but the life I witnessed today could not have lived in the warm tropical environments. I know that I was not there to bring light. I was not there to bring warmth. I was not there to bring any of these creatures with me to a beautiful paradise. I was simply there to be with them and appreciate them.
I cannot help but notice the way this parallels my life right now. For many years, my sister had been separated from our family. We did not speak or visit. While we wondered how life was for her, it simply remained apart from us. It was cold. Now, however, we have spent the past three weeks together. We have visited. We have enjoyed our time together. We have loved one another. There has been no revelation that cleared all misunderstandings. There has been no miraculous healing of rifts or sudden blooms of life. There has simply been presence together. Nothing more. And nothing less.
I am so grateful.
I imagine this analogy spreading itself to more than just my relationship with my sister. I imagine how it looks throughout all of my life's relationships. There is beautiful life to be found near the surface. It is vibrant. It is colorful. It is pleasing to the eye and idealized in stories. But there is also life well below what we can see. There is life in the murky waters. There is life that prefers the cold. There is life that disdains the light from above and recoils at the sun's rays. There is life beyond our idealized settings. There is life where many of us believe to be none.
We do not enter these spaces to bring warmth. We do not enter these spaces to bring light. We do not enter these spaces to bring some miraculous exodus. The life here is built for the depths and there it remains. I thank God that I can simply be present with it. I thank God that I can simply witness it's beauty beneath a surface that only appears foreboding. And I know now that when others let us enter the deeper places where their hearts reside, it is not to draw their hearts to the surface but rather to simply be present with them.
I thank God for this revelation. I thank Him for the realization that sunlight, vibrant colors, and swarms of pleasing visions have their place, but beneath the shallows life continues to abound in the darkness, inhabiting the cold, and filling the depths.
Where we can see life, there is beautiful life. Where we cannot see life, there is also beautiful life. If only we have the courage to be present with it. I have enjoyed my time in the shallows, but, from now on, I will also appreciate the very different kinds of life that can only be found in the deeper waters.
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