As I finish up my shower, it feels strange to crawl directly into a big bathtub. I pull the top closed above me and rythmic music begins to be heard. It takes a moment of being in the water to realize that I don't have to make myself float. The salinity is so thick that all I have to do is just lie there. The music continues playing for another five minutes before I push the button on the side that turns off the light. Now there is just the rythmic music in the darkness. I feel muscles I didn't know were tense relax. The music continues for another five minutes before it fades out completely. Now there is just the darkness.
Every breath is like the tide. I am fully aware of each time the breath moves through my nose and down into my lungs. There is a pause for just the briefest of moments. Then I am just as aware when my lungs give way to push it back out the same way it came in. My heartbeat is a metronome, ticking quietly in the background but always there nonetheless.
In the darkness my thoughts begin to wander. I reflect on my life as it is, as it has been, and as I would like it to be. Faces join me in the dark. Friendly faces that I know have passed on already, but despite their passing they feel close nevertheless. I smile at each of them and feel it is returned. I find myself praying in the midst of an ever-changing cacophony of transcendent images. My prayers begin as they always do, with what I hope to receive. But as they continue, they evolve. The prayers of longing become prayers of gratitude for opportunity. These evolve further into prayers of gratitude for what I have been blessed with already and the wondrous experience that this life has been.
Slowly this fades as well. Thoughts no longer have words attached to them. My breathing slows. Though I am still aware of it, the rythm has changed. It is slower and quieter. I am alone in the darkness, now without even my thoughts. I am simply overwhelmed... with gratitude.
I rest easily, scarcely aware that it is happening.
The music begins again. What starts as a whisper grows to chant. It is raising my awareness of the world around me. Deep drums beat to a steady rythm in the darkness. I enjoy their company. This continues for another ten minutes to signify to me that my time is finished here. I reach up into blackness and find a handle. I push it open and the light rushes in. I step out and rinse the salt from my body. Putting the same clothes on when I arrived, I am more aware of how each fabric touches my skin.
I express my gratitude to the proprietor and make my way outside. Walking along the street, I find that my attention is drawn to the grass and the flowers whereas when I arrived my attention was always on the storefronts facing the street. Along the way back to the apartment, I am acutely aware through my shirt of when the sun is shining or shaded. I noticed flower patterns I have not seen in the previous three weeks I stayed here.
What a wonder it is to see the world for what it is. How incredible to be fully aware of each individual movement my body makes. What a blessing it is to know that when everything is taken from our senses, the only thing left is gratitude.
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