Can't Stand Still

Tonight the musical Footloose that we watched on our cruise ship resonated poignantly. The story demonstrates how a town comes together through the bond shared by a boy whose father left behind and a father whose boy died tragically. They bond over a shared grief and the wound that grief leaves in their lives. The difference is that the father has long been trying to freeze time to avoid his pain, while the boy has embraced dancing to keep himself moving forward. In his own words, he "can't stand still." In the end, they both agree it is best to let go of their past.

This story resonates with me for many reasons. With my parents separating when I was ten years old, there were certainly many times when I felt alone. With my father's death a mere four months ago, I absolutely relate to the grief that accompanies the loss of a loved one. I know both the desire to hold onto what was and the irresistible pull to move forward.

My mother, sister, and I spent the whole day together. My sister and I played a giant game of chess on the deck of the cruise ship in honor of Dad, who had both taught us to play and played with us when we were kids . We hugged each other. We both kissed our own two fingers and raised them to the sky saying, "we love you, Dad." Mom said he was looking down, smiling at us. "I believe that," Ellen said.

We enjoyed the rest of our day together. After my mom laid down for the evening, my sister and I went out to salsa dance. She taught me how and it was fun. We then joined a karaoke group. It has been years since my sister and I have been able to play together.

Do I believe my dad is looking down, smiling at us? Absolutely. He is proud of the way we are moving forward, both individually and as a family.

This is who we are and this is how we have lived our whole lives. We know very well, you can't stand still.